a dark­er world today

The world is dark­er and cold­er today, because yes­ter­day we lost my beloved father-in-law. I can’t describe to you prop­er­ly the feel­ing of a world with Jack in it: it was like hav­ing a per­pet­u­al strong, warm arm around your shoul­der, a pro­tec­tive, gen­tle shield that noth­ing bad or scary could pen­e­trate. He went through the world with absolute gen­eros­i­ty, want­i­ng noth­ing more than to see the peo­ple he loved hap­py and safe. And when he was with us, we were hap­py and safe. He was opti­mistic, ener­getic, unerr­ing­ly believ­ing all the best of the peo­ple around him, and con­se­quent­ly, in the face of that belief, we were more often at our best when he was with us. With all his expe­ri­ence of the world, his was nonethe­less an inno­cent spir­it that met life with exu­ber­ance and end­less ener­gy, unswerv­ing hon­esty and strength of char­ac­ter. I see a great deal of him in John, and more than a lit­tle in Avery, too: an inner essence of good­ness and truth.

John is there in Iowa with his dear moth­er and sis­ter, and Avery and I feel so very far away, far­ther than an ocean and miles can account for. Yes­ter­day was a day when I sup­pose I final­ly grew up. You know, you can coast along look­ing like an adult for a very long time before you hit a wall that says, “You are no longer a child, so buck up and play your part.” My part was to break the news to my sweet child, and try to pro­vide for her, as best I could, the sort of unques­tioned love and sup­port that Jack gave me, all the twen­ty-four and a half years I was priv­i­leged to know him. He is the best exam­ple I could have had of a great many things: father, grand­fa­ther, hus­band, friend. We love you, John’s dad, and we will do our best in this life to deserve the love you gave us.