birth­day delights

My word, as my Ken­tucky Aunt Mary Wayne would say, my word! It was 91 degrees in the shade for my moth­er’s birth­day par­ty yes­ter­day. Lord have mer­cy, she would also say, we were warm. John, slav­ing over the grill, I slav­ing over the oven, felt it the worst, I fear, but in any case no amount of sweat and red faces could spoil our fun. It was a won­der­ful, heart-warm­ing day.

No time for ten­nis, from the word go, all day, every moment was account­ed for in one delight or anoth­er. My moth­er and I fall into a pat­tern where­by she sits in as much com­fort as she can, cru­el­ly plagued by arthri­tis as she is, in the kitchen rock­ing chair and enter­tains me with sto­ries of fam­i­ly and friends. I chop, boil, mix, sort, count nap­kins, and she reads aloud from “Soap Opera Digest,” where­upon we ask each oth­er, “Now sure­ly Bo and Hope can­not have one more child killed. She’ll just be kid­napped, do you think?” and my long-suf­fer­ing hus­band calls over, “I hope you’re not talk­ing about real peo­ple that I’m sup­posed to care about.” My father ambles through the kitchen, lis­ten­ing with one ear while also sam­pling the pota­to sal­ad, the slaw, the cof­fee cake. They both watch while I turn a pile of scal­lops into gor­geous lit­tle parcels wrapped each in two basil leaves, then wrapped in a piece of bacon, then slid onto a skew­er. Three per skew­er, a good serv­ing size (don’t tell that to Joel, who was con­vinced they would be very BAD left­overs and so kind­ly ate two skewers-ful).

Dad went cheer­ful­ly with me and John to buy ice, and to fill the car with yel­low bal­loons, a cer­tain num­ber of which burst in the heat of the day, and then we all, Avery includ­ed, strolled around Red Gate Farm tying them to the fence, to the aza­lea bush, to the rusty but sweet wrought-iron bench that sits demure­ly in front of the house, to the bench under the hydrangea tree which oblig­ing­ly bloomed its gree­ny-white blos­soms just in time for the par­ty. The farm glowed with yel­low ribbons.

And for those not want­i­ng to eat scal­lops, I pre­pared a plate of bison burg­ers, of all things! My moth­er in law arrived for her vis­it last month filled with sto­ries of the bison she had eat­en on a hol­i­day in Mon­tana, and I thought, “Lead me to it!” Sad­ly I did not sam­ple the burg­ers myself, but Avery and my sis­ter and father raved about them. Avery claims there is a beefy fla­vor, but under­neath that is anoth­er, deep­er fla­vor that is tru­ly delight­ful. It’s worth a try. Per­haps lat­er this week I can try them myself. With a piquant Pro­volone from the deli, red onion slices and a mix­ture of mayo, mus­tard and black pep­per, they looked divine and smelled better.

The sun shone. Avery and Jane set up their course of jumps, and tram­po­lined. The boys drank beer as John grilled, my sis­ter fed the baby, Anne came briefly with an enor­mous jug, as you see, of flow­ers for my moth­er! “Some­body told me you liked yel­low… and Kate is refus­ing to nap, so we’ll be by when we can!” Poor Kate is cut­ting molars, and Avery described her expe­ri­ences of twelve-year molars last year which even then were uncom­fort­able, so the poor baby expe­ri­ence can only be guessed at.

We ate, my good­ness, how we ate. Quite the per­fect slaw, I think, of Savoy and red cab­bages, jica­ma and juli­enned car­rots with a dress­ing full of mus­tard and pop­py seeds, kind­ly brought to me by Joel, from the stash I brought to him! And why should pota­to sal­ad be so heavy and may­on­naisey? It does­n’t have to be. Here’s mine.

Light Pota­to Salad
(serves 10)

5 lbs Yukon Gold pota­toes, steamed till ten­der, cut in bite-size cubes
4 stalks cel­ery, minced
2 bunch­es scal­lions (spring onions), minced white AND green parts

dress­ing:
1/3 cup olive oil
juice and zest of 1 lemon
2 tbsps maple vinegar
1 tsp cel­ery salt
1 tbsp mayonnaise
3 tbsps Dijon mustard
loads of fresh-ground black pepper
sea salt

Shake up all dress­ing ingre­di­ents except black pep­per and toss with pota­toes, cel­ery and scal­lions. Grind the pep­per over the sal­ad and salt to taste.

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This sal­ad is light, tasty, sum­mery, and per­fect with burg­ers, ribs, chick­en wings, you name it. And you can enjoy it with­out strug­gling through that glop­py, over-dressed fatigue that accom­pa­nies so many pota­to sal­ads from delis. And no guilt.

Once we got to the cake, with its now-tra­di­tion­al leg­end “Hap­py Birth­day, Mona,” the girls gath­ered around their grand­moth­er for a pho­to op, and it was like paparazzi, the par­ents with cam­eras! My moth­er, who has the most beau­ti­ful skin on the plan­et, sim­ply glowed with the unde­ni­able warmth, and also anoth­er warmth gen­er­at­ed by being sur­round­ed by beau­ti­ful girls, the next gen­er­a­tion, smil­ing their love for her. Just a gor­geous day.

A quick cleanup, Mol­ly down for her nap, my moth­er hap­pi­ly watch­ing a Nascar race, John doing some com­pli­cat­ed finan­cial things, and the rest of us head­ed off to the swim­ming pool for a cool-down. That pool makes me laugh: it’s so shab­by, so old-fash­ioned, ring­ing with “Mar­co… Polo…” and an end­less parade of unoc­cu­pied, gor­geous, wash­board-stom­ach life­guards of both sex­es… we swam, Jane jumped off the side with her new­ly-acquired skills while her par­ents cheered, Avery dived, also a new skill this sum­mer. Idyllic.

Back home, my sis­ter and her fam­i­ly packed up to make for home and estab­lish some sense of a much-need­ed rou­tine evening! Enough par­ty for a four-and-a-half year old with ener­gy to spare… and we, we set­tled in for a nice cock­tail hour on the ter­race, warm and humid to be sure, but irre­sistible in the ear­ly-evening beau­ty. Then pier­rade for us all, a pro­tein injec­tion in case we need­ed it. I think my dad was very skep­ti­cal about the whole process of grilling his own lit­tle bites of sir­loin and duck, but he quick­ly was con­vinced by the sheer deli­cious­ness of it, and my moth­er’s request­ed sauteed mixed pep­pers were the per­fect combination.

And for dessert? I’ve been try­ing to find an old recipe that my moth­er and I used to make for her ladies-who-study after­noon meet­ings, and for old Moth­er’s Days gone by, lemon bars. What I end­ed up mak­ing was not the same at all, but it was nice. Still, we’d like to res­ur­rect the old ver­sion which had as its fill­ing, we recall, a mix­ture of lemon frost­ing mix and cream cheese. The ver­sion I made for the par­ty evening came from mix­ing up sev­er­al recipes that all sound­ed tempt­ing­ly famil­iar, and yield­ed a much less rich thing than what we remem­ber, but still pro­vides a chewy, but­tery crust that some­how merges with its lemo­ny fla­vor­ing. Give it a try. I think Avery will blog it too.

Lemon Bars
(makes 24 bars)

1 box lemon cake mix
1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) but­ter, melted
1 cup unre­fined sugar
zest and juice of 2 lemons
1/2 tsp bak­ing powder
1/4 tsp salt
2 eggs

Mix lemon cake mix and melt­ed but­ter and press into a 9‑inch square pan that you’ve sprayed with cook­ing spray. Bake for 20 min­utes at 350F.

With an elec­tric mix­er or (as I had to) just whip­ping real­ly hard with a whisk, mix all remain­ing ingre­di­ents. When the crust comes out of the oven, when it’s still hot, pour this mix­ture over the crust and then bake again for 25 min­utes. Chewy, tart, but­tery delight. Even I liked it.

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John valiant­ly made it awake until 10 or so that night, and then retreat­ed to bed. Anne had said ear­li­er in the day, “It’s always so cozy to look across the road at 5 in the morn­ing, see a light on, and think, ‘John’s up!’ ” His ear­ly night left my par­ents and Avery and me to play Aggra­va­tion, and then Avery said, “I won­der what’s in those old suit­cas­es,” point­ing to a stack of antique leather suit­cas­es that serves as a lit­tle dec­o­ra­tion in the par­lor, although we’ve been known to trav­el with them, in our old Lon­don days when we were young enough to care if we trav­elled styl­ish­ly. “Well, I can tell you that the bot­tom two are emp­ty, but the top one is full of old pho­tographs,” I said, so we opened it up. The glam­or! The style! Young, skin­ny, self-indul­gent John and me from 20 years ago, in Moscow giv­ing chew­ing gum to lit­tle Russ­ian chil­dren, me in doc­tor­al robes get­ting my PhD, gazed over by my beloved tutor and advi­sor, on whom I had a com­plete­ly uncon­trol­lable crush (fuelled by the fact that he had mar­ried no few­er than FOUR of his grad­u­ate stu­dents!), on hap­py walks in the Cotswolds with John’s par­ents, in the streets of New York wait­ing to see Ralph Fiennes in “Ham­let”… with my par­ents at Buck­land Manor in Oxford­shire, all of us so young.

Avery loved it! It’s so fun­ny, and sad in a way, although I just should be hap­py that we’ve had such a hap­py past. But how quick­ly it all went by. Such a short time to be glam­orous and young, and I must say this sum­mer, I can feel the torch pass­ing to Avery’s gen­er­a­tion. She’s about to be the one with excit­ing new oppor­tu­ni­ties, meet­ing the peo­ple who will be her adult world, trav­el­ing, tak­ing risks. John and I amuse our­selves at our ten­nis games by ask­ing, “What would you be will­ing to have Avery do when she’s 16? Can she bring her boyfriend to Red Gate Farm for the sum­mer? Can she trav­el with him to Europe? Can she go with a group that’s chap­er­oned but not to study, just to trav­el?” I find myself MUCH more lib­er­al about her plans than I would have expect­ed, and John not so much! The pro­tec­tive father comes out in high relief. It is good to have a past to look back on with­out much to regret, no adven­tures that turned sour, no rela­tion­ships that end­ed in tears, real­ly. I know we can’t expect to have the easy ride as par­ents that our par­ents did! We were so tame. And yet… we had fun.

So Hap­py Birth­day, Mona, for anoth­er year. How lucky we feel to have had the day in the sun­shine, to be togeth­er and play, and appre­ci­ate each other.

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